Successful Dating

How Teens Can Be More Successful At Dating

If you are a teenager and have trouble dating, this guide is for you. These tips will surely help you survive in the dating world. Based on personal experiences of my own, and after talking to a large variety of teenagers on a daily basis, I have compiled this guide to help others who might have at one time, found themselves in many of the same positions I did. Don’t expect this guide to make you a master at finding many dates with ease; it will still take work on your part. We will be touching on some very important issues that many teens face in the dating world. Let’s get started!

One of the most popular questions I often get is what do I do if I like someone, but they don’t like me back? There is no magical button you can press that will make someone love you, it has to happen all by itself. If you are in a position like this it can be difficult to deal with. We’ve all been there, you have a big crush on someone and they don’t even know you are there. But thinking about something you can’t change will only drain your energy even more and will make finding that special someone that much harder.

The first step is to acknowledge that all of that pain that you are feeling right now will always go away eventually, especially after you find someone you truly loves you for who you really are. You might even look back and laugh at that pain you felt when you realize that the person who loves you was just waiting to find you! There’s no use getting worked up over things you can’t change, because when things progress naturally at their own pace, the magic truly unfolds.

We all go through the teenager phase, where emotions run high and lead to jealousy towards others. But this isn’t essentially something bad. If you are in a relationship, and your significant other is checking out other people, don’t jump to conclusions and think you have to end the relationship. You do have a right to be annoyed, however first you must make your concerns clear. Communication is one of the most important things.

If you are hit by the jealousy bug, that’s fine. We’ve all been there; but it’s irrational jealousy that hurts us which is very different. This can lead to paranoia and constant worrying over whether not your partner is cheating. Although we all worry about these kinds of things in relationships, letting it rule your life is very unhealthy and can wreck the entire relationship itself. Ask yourself whether the jealousy you feel is justified or not.

At first, we may not know if we are in love or not. Another popular question I get from teens is when they ask, “How can I tell if I am in love or not?” I always respond by saying, you will know when it happens. You can feel it. It is the most straightforward answer of all because it is a feeling like no other. Obsession isn’t love. If someone is on your mind all the time, you don’t necessary have to be in love with them.

Lust is also compared to love but is not nearly as meaningful. Many of us have felt very strongly towards someone. You see them as being beautiful and attractive. Combining this lust with obsession can trap many people and will usually lead to an unfulfilling relationship.

This next issue is something many teens ask me how to deal with and I always give them this tip. A big problem regarding the love lives of teens is parents. Old fashioned parents often believe their younger teens shouldn’t date and will disapprove of current boyfriends or girlfriends. An important step to dealing with this problem is to be on good terms with parents. Otherwise it will be that much harder to deal with the issue.

When the day is over, parents have your back. Although it may not seem like it, they’ve faced all the same problems you’ve dealt with. They’ve been in your shoes and have a lot more experience to draw knowledge from. Just like how relationships with your boyfriend or girlfriend thrive on communication, so does your relationship with your parents. It is important to never forget that. If you hide your actions from them and keep quiet, it will only lead to more heart-ache in the long run.

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First Date

3 Things He Wants to Hear on a First Date

After reading several posts last week about first dates, and

first-date jitters, I thought it might be a good idea to give

some ideas of things guys are looking for on a first date,

specifically, what we want to hear.

“Do you work out?”
This is a win/win question because if the answer is “yes,” he’ll

be thrilled to hear that you noticed, and if the answer is “no,”

there’s a perfect excuse for you to tell him how fantastic he

looks and to keep doing whatever it is he’s doing. Danger alert:

Only ask this if you really want to know the answer. Some of us

can’t resist going into absurd details about exactly how we do

our pull-ups, the angle at which to land a right hook, etc. Worse

even, some of us cannot resist a demonstration. Caveat #2: If the

guy sitting across from you is clearly out of shape, don’t front,

and maybe avoid this topic entirely.

“I’ll have the steak.”
This isn’t a shot at vegetarians, but more of a commentary that

when we’re out on a dinner date, we want to know that you are

enjoying yourself, and the food, and that you haven’t lost your

appetite because of the terrible restaurant we’ve chosen, or

something off-putting that we’ve said. There is also, of course,

a whole other host of concerns that accompany a date not

ordering anything—is she self conscious? Does she have food

issues? Simply put: If you’re going out to dinner, eat dinner.

“ ”
This was a trick. There’s nothing between those quotation marks.

But also, there’s also everything between those quotation marks.

Because at the end of the day (or “date” as the case may be),

the most important elements early in a relationship can be the

unspoken ones. Does she make eye contact, seem relaxed and

comfortable? Does she pay attention, seem genuinely interested?

These can be deal breakers and much more significant than any

one line of dialogue, or flirty remark. These can be the things that

we remember.

What do you like to hear on a first date? What’s the best line

you’ve given on a first date?

MORE FROM SINGLENESS:

• 8 Sex Moves Every Woman Should Try Once
• After “I Do”: Would You Want Your Husband to Be a Stay-at-Home Dad?
• 10 things your man never needs to know!
• He’s Not Ready For A Relationship–Should I Still Sleep With Him?

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Dating Tips

4 Reasons Why Dating Is So Hard

I think most of us can agree that our negative experiences outweigh

our positive experiences in dating. “Connection” is elusive. Each

negative experience leaves a scar, making us reluctant to stay in

the game. With enough disappointments, our youthful positivity

turns into “I can see that it’s a lie.”

Growing up, all the times I thought love was coming my way, I was

somehow let down. At this point, I’m numb to it. There have been

enough letdowns that I no longer expect things to work out.

Cheating and abuse are examples of big events that contribute to

shying away from dating. Luckily, the traumatic events are

uncommon. There are, however, small letdowns that are not only

barbs that poke at your emotional well-being, but they are also

annoying. And these little events occur more often. After enough

of these types of letdowns, you might start to lose your faith in

dating:

You Think About Them All The Time, but You Know They Are

Barely Thinking About You

There’s often a girl I’m thinking about: What it would be like to

take her on dates, or even marry her. At the same time, we

barely know each other, she has a boyfriend, she’s far away,

or some other barrier exists. In light of this barrier, I know she’s

not thinking about me like I’m thinking of her. It makes me feel

stupid and insignificant.

`

It’s Day 3, and They Haven’t Contacted You

For awhile I actually believed that every woman who gave me her

number would call me back. After enough ignored calls, I’ve lost

energy and hope for this process. In the old days, day 1, day 2,

day 3 went by (my friends would tell me “start worrying after day 4″)

and I’d get more and more incredulous: “How can she just ignore

my call?” Now I’d be incredulous if she actually called back.

They Are Interested in Your Friend

I set myself up for this because I integrate all my friends: work,

college, high school, etc. My guy friends are refined versions of

me. They know when to turn off the “crazy switch.” My first crush

in fourth grade told me she liked my best friend when I finally

admitted I “liked” her. She started a long string (at least five times)

of crushes who like my closest friends instead of me.

I’m Into It, I’m Out of It

When the object of your desire gives you hope by going through

the initial motions of dating before pulling out, it’s frustrating.

Eventually, it’s tough for you to trust because so many people

flaked out on past potential relationships with no explanation.

It’s safer for your mind and heart to be pleasantly surprised

instead of having hopes to kill. Maybe it’s good that I’ve gotten

to that point of no hope. Anything good that happens will be a

pleasant surprise. Maybe part of growing up in dating is

losing hope.

What little letdowns in dating make you lose faith? Do you agree

the things above happen much more often than having it actually

work out? Do you try not to have hope, or are you always hopeful?

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